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Sorry to get so personal and emotional in this post but please bear with me.

My Mom and I went to see the “The Intern” and it hit so close to home. On so many levels. In the movie Anne Hathaway plays a CEO watching her small company take off, and the struggles and stress it’s putting on her relationships and at how her life at home is suffering.

I came home and I cried. I literally sobbed into my husbands shoulder. Is that what I’m doing? Knitatude is such a huge part in my life. I’m constantly thinking about it. How to grow it, how to market it, how to make everything, how to control it and most of all how to catch up to it. Sometimes I feel like it’s taking away some of the most precious parts of my life. Like I’m too busy being focused on my business that I forget about the important stuff: My husband. Family and friends. Taking time to read a book. Enjoying a walk. Actually watching a movie at night without feverishly knitting away and feeling guilty if I put the needles down because I wasn’t solely focused on Knitatude.

My husband this week said “Lets move my Lazy Boy to my parents, so we can fit more room and make a storage space for your yarn”. His Lazy Boy. That he’s had for years before I even came into the picture. Something that I’ve just come to associate him with. Given up for some simple yarn space… I’m so thankful to have such a wonderful and supportive husband but sometimes I worry he’s having to give up so much for me to succeed.

As soon as I came in and started crying he immediately held me to his chest and reassured me that he wasn’t going to go anywhere and that he was so proud of me for being so successful. I can’t imagine having anything (including Knitatude) without him and his support.

Are any of my fellow #‎girlbosses out there feeling the same? I know Instagram and social media shows this wonderful side of owning a small business, but I feel like you never get to see the downs. I hope I’m not alone.

 

Chantal

3 thoughts on ““Can I Do This?” – The internal struggles of a small business owner”

  1. Hi Chantal and all.
    Chantal, I admire your honesty and personal journey that you have shared. It is so hard trying to juggle it all and being able to reach out and ‘lay’ it all out there is really inspiring. BTW, I am new to all of this- so please bare with me.
    Running a business WELL and trying to keep it all together definately isn’t easy. There are many days I think there is no way I can keep it all going. I too am very blessed with a partner that gives me courage, strength, support and encouragement. My husband has always been there for me and for my children. Without their support, there would have been NO possible way I could even think of owning and running a company. Taking that risk was the hardest thing I have done. So now that I’ve ‘jumped’, I struggle daily with trying to figure out how to keep pushing it all forward. I am not a ‘marketing’ genius and honestly have been growing my art gallery on gut instinct and common sense. Is that enough? I am always thinking about HOW and WHAT the next steps are…and I guess that is what everyone does, but trying to find those answers every second of every day is a tough one. I try very hard to maintain home and work- but when work isn’t just a job, it’s literally part of you, it’s sometimes (well all the time) hard to separate the two.
    In the end, I think we just keep on going because we are passionate about it…and because we HAVE to. I feel so very blessed to have the opportunity to ‘jump’ and truly appreciate this outlet to share, to ‘listen’, and to know that there are others out there feeling the same way I do. Like I said, I am new to reaching out, being personal and allowing people to see beyond the ‘strong wall’ that surrounds me.
    I hope you find that strength every time you doubt it and keep pushing and finding the balance to be happy in ALL that you do. Finally, I think your honesty and your vulnerability brings the ‘real and the authentic’ back to the forefront- even though Instagram and social media presents otherwise. Very refreshing.
    Thank you.

    1. Hi Michelle,

      Thank YOU for being so honest and open. It’s so hard to find a work and home balance. Especially around this time when we are supposed to be spending time with family, instead we are busting out butts for markets etc. I’m so happy you have such a great support system. I can’t imagine not having Todd and I am sure the same is with your hubby and kids. As long as we take some personal time and make some room to put aside for that – then I think we are good. I’ve pledge to do a weekly date night. That way I stay away from Knitatude at least for a night and then get to focus on my relationship with not only my husband and friends but with myself too. Best of luck girl! #bossygirlbreakdowns
      – Chantal

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